Georgia Peach

Kelly Rowland - Commander ft. David Guetta

2010-06-24T20:33:00.000-07:00

Lady Gaga - Alejandro

2010-06-08T17:27:00.000-07:00

FEARLESS Ernesto

2010-06-02T11:45:00.000-07:00

On The Midnight Train To Georgia

2010-05-20T17:20:00.000-07:00

So for the past six or so weeks I have been waiting to set-up my interview. Back in April I was asked to interview for our new store in Atlanta. I was more than happy to say yes. I have been sitting on pins and needles for weeks. I am still waiting to see what happens. I would be happy to move back to Atlanta. Be closer to my family, have my own place, and see my friends. I hoping something will pan out next week. Fingers crossed.

2010-05-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

Aha! moment number one. I finally got closer with JJ. We haven't spoken since February and that was cool. Well thanks to Facebook and me setting my birthday calendar. He sent me a response to my birthday greeting.

JJ
THANKS HOPING ALL IS WELL WITH YOU
Marquis
Sure thing jojo. I hope you celebrated in style. All is good with me.
JJ
GLAD TO HEAR ..HAVEN'T CELEBRATED TILL TONIGHT ...I'M NOT SURE WHY YOU STOPPED COMMUNICATION WITH ME ???
Marquis
I think we both stopped communication with each other. I willing to take partial blame on it. We have done it before.
JJ
u slept over we woke up together on valentines day and than nothing more ...
Marquis
I called you when I got home the day after I slept over. We spoke! Look either way it goes we haven't communicated since then.
JJ
YES I REMEMBER YOU DID...I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY
Marquis
Hey, it is what it is. Things happen. That's life.
JJ
k
Marquis
You are a sweet guy and a part heart cares for you always. We are two people who have always wanted two different things. I realize it that night. I think a part of has changed and I needed it to change. And there hopefully we be more changes. You deserve you own bit of happiness:-)
JJ
:)

And now I am done. I am at peace now. Case Closed.

I'M BACK

2010-05-19T17:54:00.000-07:00

So I have not completely abandon my blog. Just for the longest time I have pretty much had nothing to say. Well the spell has ended and I have had an aha! moment.

Christina Aguilera - Not Myself Tonight (Official Clean Version)

2010-05-04T16:47:00.000-07:00

NO S**T!

2010-03-29T21:47:00.000-07:00

File this away in the "Are you f**kin kidding me?" file. Umm everyone knew 10 years ago! What took you so long.

Positive Positivity

2010-03-27T04:55:00.000-07:00

With work keeping me on the straight and narrow, me hitting the gym like a freekin crack whore, and trying to figure out this new guy I am a busy fella. So Saturday morning seems to be my time time to relax and blog catch up for the week. I get a chance to post and read the other blogs I follow. I also get to catch up on my dvr recording. Gawd bless DVR. I have a shit load of shows to catch up on.

I had a chance finally see "Tyler Perry's I Can Do Bad All By Myself" which has been sitting on my dresser for weeks. Good movie I have to admit. Dayum! you Tyler Perry for making me cry not once but twice. What is it about kids in harms way that tugs at my heart string. So there bitches I am not a freekin iceberg as reported. Anyway check the movie out.

I am moving one step closer to total bliss. All week long on http://www.christinaaguilera.com/ they have been giving us tidbits of the new single and CD "Bionic". They started with the name of the new single "Not Myself Tonight" which drops April 5th I think. Then the release the lyrics of the single, then the new CD cover work, and just yesterday they gave a 20 sec preview of the single. I have to say it was a lil different and left me wanting to hear more. I will have to wait till March 30 when the entire song is playable on the website. I can't believe I got through that without calling it an album. Almost aged myself. Sweet progress!

Last night after work met up with friends to go and check out The Comedian of Chelsea Lately in lovely Montclair New Jersey. We had good seats. Got a chance to see her Lil nugget Chuy. Whitney Cummings, and Jo Koy were hilarious!!! Nearly pissed my pants a few times during their performances. Chelsea hits Manhattan in May and I got get me some tix.

So next weekend I am off the entire weekend. Hot Dayum! and I didn't have to sleep with anyone to get the days off. Hmmm! whatta do! whatta do!

Coming Soon

2010-03-23T18:58:00.000-07:00

The latest is that my favorite horror movie franchise is back. With all the principal character returning. Movie is due out next April 2011. Can't wait!!

Look who is back! I have been waiting for this single since last December. This is the cover and new single from her new CD. The website has been updated with a very futuristic look. This should be hot.

Laser Beam

2010-03-20T06:48:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was my laser surgery. I get up and we get to the hospital by 10:30 am. I wait and wait and wait. I didn't even get in the pre-op room till 1:30pm. Although while waiting I had a lovely chat with the mother on a little girl that has the same condition as me. Such a sweet family from North Carolina. However they were running late which caused a domino effect and why my procedure was 3 hours late. I honestly think my procedure took about 15 mins the irony of it all. Anyhow I hadn't eaten anything since midnight Thurs/Fri. I didn't eat till about 7pm Friday night. Surprisingly I was not a raging bitch from lack of food. Just was tired. Fell asleep around 10pm woke up around 12:30 by M.C.(more on that when even I can figure out the deal). Couldn't get back to sleep around 3. Watched "Naked Fame" the documentary on Colton Ford. So this how I spent my Friday.

Spring Has Sprung

2010-03-11T18:24:00.000-08:00

The last couple of days, hell the last couple of weeks have been crazy. Crazy in a good way. I have a renewed sense of purpose at work. I have conquered one of my personal goals. I have moved on to the next one. I am planning a party for the store in August.

Thanks to AirTran I was able to get a sweet ass deal to head back to Atlanta to visit in April. I am excited. I am wondering when the hell did renting a car cost more than a plane ticket. Dayum!

A week from tomorrow I will be headed back to the hospital. Just for a lil minor laser surgery to make it a lil, bit more symmetrical. Luckily it is an outpatient thing.

And on Saturday we will have turned out clocks one hour ahead to prepare for Spring. I am so ready

Black Eyed Peas - Imma Be Rocking That Body

2010-02-26T14:22:00.001-08:00

Up In The Gym Just Working On My Fitness

2010-02-25T16:04:00.000-08:00

So I am still around. Been back at work for a week now. Definitely keeping me busy and tired.

Back at the gym trying to rebuild this body of mine. The cardio has been the hardest just my lungs back to the exercising.

We are currently getting more snow. It is seriously becoming depressing. I want spring damnit!

Guilty Pleasure

2010-02-22T19:17:00.000-08:00

Start Yo Engines! Lip sync For Your Life! Don't F**k it up! Sashay You Stay! Shontay Away!

Redemption

2010-02-17T15:32:00.000-08:00

Today I got an apology from someone that was a complete a**hole to me. Didn't expect it at all. He just grew balls and IM me. I have to give him props cause the last time we communicated I tore him a new one. While I am not a complete raging bitch I have a soft spot for him. We will be friends but my heart is closed off to him. He has misused it twice and I ain't going down the path again. Moving forward not backwards. Rebirth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Give Me The GreenLight

2010-02-16T13:53:00.000-08:00

Today was the day. I woke up at 7:30am and headed into the snowy NY City. I was making my way to the doctor for my last pre-work and post-surgery appointment. So all is looking good. I get to resume my life and I am crazy happy. I will head to the gym tomorrow for my first workout in a month and a half. Can't wait. I head back to work on Thursday. I do have a Lil nip/tuck action coming in March. Outpatient surgery so a happy camper I am.

So I have been processing the thought of getting the hell out of Jersey. I have settled on two places to move to back to Northern California. Here are the pros: No snow! no snow! wine country! no snow! Cons: California economy is in the crapper right now. To far from my family. Back to Georgia! My hometown Atlanta. Pros: be closer to my family. A tad bit warmer but not by much. Holidays would be easier and I wouldn't have to battle about Christmas. Cons: I don't see any at this point. I will head back to Atlanta in April I think to visit. I am thinking by May I should have a finally decision.

And lastly I have laid another quasi relationship to rest. I am liking my growth when it comes to these mediocre relationships I have been holding onto for no real good reasons. I have to cut my ties and move on.

I have been working on my inner peace, mental growth, and professional maturity. I am headed back to work with a new outlook. I am going to carry that into my social life also. I have said that 2010 is my Rebirth. Greenlight means go!

Checking In

2010-02-13T10:45:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to post something a few days ago. You know how life can get sometimes just gets away from you. I am about 5 days from returning to work and 3 days away from my doctors appt. I can't wait

On the personal front just a tad bit of chaos that I am trying to get a handle on. My ex has starting calling and texting me again. I thought we had closure and I made sure of it. However I guess I need to revisit it with him. There is someone else who has seemed to resurface and expressing his fondness for me. I am being cautious about this guy cause I have tried to go down this road with him. He has shoot me down repeatedly in the past. F**king NY/NJ are a headache. I maybe I need to meet someone outside the area. Seriously come hither.

That's it. I had plans for Valentine's Day but they were blown apart by someone who... Huh never mind it works out for everyone. So Happy Valentine's Day.

Kylie Minogue - Love At First Sight

2010-02-12T11:24:00.001-08:00

Too Much Time

2010-02-09T07:21:00.000-08:00

I am at the point now that I am really to resume 100% of my life. I have been lacking about 50% of it and I am driving myself crazy. The one thing about having all the free time is that you don't have enough to fill up every waking hour of it. You have way to much time to think. Seriously I am one week away from my final doctors appointment before I head back to work. I ready for the green light to resume my life. Work and the gym. Gawd I sound like a broken record.
I just need some balance that's all I want.

Life Lessons

2010-02-05T12:57:00.000-08:00

Today was a good. I am awaiting the snow storm that we will be receiving. Went to the grocery store and it was a mad house. I typically used the quick scan register even they were backed out. Just crazy I tell ya.

I went into work today just to visit the peeps. It was good seeing everyone and lawd yes getting out of the apartment. Amen! I have to admit I ran some reports and paperwork cause when I go back on the 18th I want to be at the top of game. I said this year I am going to step it up. Show people what I got. I feel so refreshed! Plus my store is doing awesome. We made our sales goals for two quarters in a row. I love it.

I am in the middle of dog sitting this week. I have learned a few things. I don't like having to walk a dog early in the morning when it is cold, in the afternoon when it is cold, and in the evening when it is cold. Note to self if I get a dog I will need a yard. I can open the door and let the dog out dog stop and sniff everything. Geez! piss and poop already.

So I have been thinking alot this past month. I think I am really done with Jersey. I have been here for 6 years. 4 years longer than I thought I would. The longest I have stayed in any place other than my hometown Atlanta. I need to move on from this place. Where? now that's the question.

Four Weeks

2010-02-04T12:36:00.000-08:00

So today marks one month since the surgery. Everything continues to go well. Still got some swelling to go. You can see the difference for sure. I am just waiting to see it all when all is said and done. I will be headed back to work in two weeks. Which I am thrilled about. I started back doing some yoga and light resistance band training. I figured I need to some exercising until I can get the greenlight from the doctors on weight training. It is good to start getting some of my life back. I am feeling stronger mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Bored?

2010-02-02T14:25:00.000-08:00

Today is the day I have hit pure boredom. I can't even say how bored I am. I don't have the greenlight to start working out yet and I about 2 weeks before I head back to work. I have resorted into going on gay.com just to chat. Gay.com of all placing. I don't like it at all and here I am logging onto it just for some chatter. Dear gawd! let this 2 weeks fly by and I can get back to the gym also.

blue - fly by

2010-01-31T07:52:00.001-08:00

3 Weeks

2010-01-31T07:06:00.000-08:00

I forgot to give a recovery update last Thursday. Not much to report. Still waiting for the rest of the swelling to go down. Definitely getting out more and doing things. Which is a good thing or I would completely loose my mind. I am due back to work in three weeks. That's it kids, That's all I got for ya.

Something To Remember

2010-01-28T09:15:00.000-08:00

“Find a guy who calls you Sexy instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends and not let go in embarrassment, who still thinks you are the sexist guy in the world when you are sick, a guy that can appreciate all your flaws and all. Something to remember is to be that same guy you are looking for. Take a chance.

Paint a Picture

2010-01-27T08:54:00.000-08:00

So picture it Jersey City, NJ 2007 two guys meet. There is a connection and sparks are flying. One guy flies back to Saint Louis and the other one stays in Jersey. They keep in contact with each other. Phone calls, IM'S, trade some naughty pics. They are connecting on all levels. However the distance is one of the sticking points. No one willing to move. Also there is some sexual issues. Whose a top or a bottom? Can two bottoms make it happen?blah blah blah. Anyhoo the Saint Louis Guy went away and Jersey guy was sad but moved on.

Picture it Aberdeen 2010 two guys meet again online of all things. The connection and the sparks are still there. They talk for hours. About life, about love, about what happened, and moving in the future. It is rare to run into someone that you were so into many moons ago and you wonder. The opportunity exist that you could make something happen. He doesn't wanna pass this chance up to see what could. He feels that this guy is worth the chance. They make a pact to stay in touch and go from there. Only chance and love will see where this leads to.

Half A Heart

2010-01-26T12:52:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I get a text from my ex. We stay in contact every now and then. For the past couple of weeks he has been on mission to get back together. Anyhow he was asked me to be his Valentines. I have to say I was caught off guard. The great thing about turning a new chapter in my life is that I am not going to settle for mediocre. The entire run of our relationship I felt not important to him at all. I am just at a point right now that I just wanna be single and date. I would like to meet new people to get to know. So yes I half heartily accept a invite to meet this saturday. I am curious to see what he has to say for himself. I am just not sure if I want to go there with him.

Christina Aguilera "Lift Me Up" HD 720p Hope For Haiti Now

2010-01-24T08:29:00.001-08:00

LeToya Luckett ft. Ludacris - Regret (Official Video) HQ

2010-01-23T08:10:00.001-08:00

2 weeks

2010-01-21T07:34:00.000-08:00

OK so today marks two weeks since my surgery. Here is a lil update as to where I am now. I have had two doctors visits. My stitches has been completely removed. I am still with my drain and probably will be till it gets to a smaller drainage. I still have some swelling but am seeing it go away day by day. I will be happy when it is close to being down. I think I am losing patience but I have to maintain my inner peace. However it is hard. Since I can't do any kind of working out I have been passing the time be using Rosetta Stone to freshen up on my Spanish. Today I need to write a few thank you cards to people. I actually logged on gay.com cause I was bored. I haven't on there is about a year. Something never changes. Ran across a guy I talked to like 5 years ago. We said that we would keep in touch. We will see who holds up their end of the statement. I can't believe I am this bored. I need human interaction and soon.

Dating 101

2010-01-17T06:19:00.000-08:00

Awhile ago I joined a dating website. An actual dating website! It was just one of those things where I said I would try it. So half hearted I set-up a profile and just let it be. I got a few hits from the profile. The first guy that responded was very interesting. In a very good. In the end he got back with an ex. We never made it to the first date. However he was man enough to explain what was going on. The next couple of guys were duds, and in all honestly I was mad crushing on someone that was already in my life. So I just left the profile alone. Every now and then I will get an update from the site saying someone is interested in me. Well this happen two days ago. Cause right now I am one hot papi!!! Hell No!!!!!

I should have left this alone. As always curiosity killed the cat. So I log on check out the guy profile. We shared alot of interests and I like what he had to say in his profile. Nice profile pic. OK so I'll bite. We first exchange relationship essentials(things we like when involved in a relationship). We hit about 5 essentials dead on. OK, Off to a good start. Then we moved on the short answer questions. Here is where get to show a little of yourself. You get to choose from a set of pre-made questions or create two of your own. So I answer his questions. I am a person that like to show some fun in my answers. Give you a tad bit of my personality. I then send him mine to only get one word responses. Seriously one word answers! Hmmm! you can take the time to even write a complete sentence? Seriously!

I just kinda blew past it cause I was really curious what this guy had to say. Besides some people tend to shine outside of generic dating questions. So the next step in the process is to exchange e-mails. I sent a pretty much basic e-mail. You know "Hello" and "How Are You Doing" this is the response I got back from him.

Actually I do have plans sorry, but maybe your up for some fun later in the night? send me your number...Can you host and do you live alone?

I swear to you I was taken back because no where in my e-mail to him did I elude to him that I wanted to have sex. For goodness sake. Even if I wasn't a physical hot mess right now things still would not go down that way. Look I am all for doing what you need to do to get your rocks off that is what manhunt and Adam4Adam is for. Please vacate the premise and go there. I sent him a nice response saying no thanks you. Moving on.......................

Free Fallin

2010-01-15T09:27:00.000-08:00

Today is a good day. I decided to clean up my bedroom. Not that it was bad just needed some TLC. Throw out some stuff and went through my CD collection. It is all organize now. The day before my surgery I went to in job interview, Within my company. I found out today that I did not get but I knew I wouldn't. I needed to do it to show my strength and when I return back to work I have some career goals. Good to show me face to people outside my general work dwelling. I seating and listening to Alicia Keys "How It Feels To Fly" just a moving song and where I am today. I risk the fall just to learn how it feels to fly. Today is a good day.

7 Days

2010-01-14T14:16:00.000-08:00

So this is my first official post of the new year and also post surgery. I am doing well both physically and mentally with this surgery. Of course there have been good and bad days. It has officially been one week since I went in and had the tumor removed. I have head many question about "How I am feeling?" I have not sure taken everything in mentally yet. I still have some swelling to go. The drain has come back into my life. Fun Times! we are like lovers at this point. Third times the charm. Got stitches removed today and shed a few tears behind closed doors. I am still holding it together. I have been truly blessed to have a wonderful family and great friends that love me, and I love them. The road to come will be an exciting one.

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T07:53:00.000-08:00

Best of 2009

2009-12-31T13:41:00.000-08:00

So on this last day of the year 2009. I thought I would give a list of my fave in music, television, and movies

The Year in Music

1) When Love Takes Over by David Guetta w/ Kelly Rowland. Will love this song for a long time. I remember being out at a club. When this song came on people lost their minds. A Classic.

2) Pokerface by Lady GaGa. Just pure mindless pop music at it's finest. Still makes not one bit of since to me lyrically. Po-Po-Po-Po-Po-Pokerface.

3) Blame it by Jamie Foxx w/ T-Pain. Any song that can includes the name of my bf Vodka gotta be tops for me.

Year in Television

1) True Blood/HBO. I became addicted to this show. Funny, sexy, and heartbreaking. That's good TV.

2) Vampire Diaries/CW. F**k Twilight! Yes I am a 30 y/o guy watching this show. Sue Me!

3) Mercy/NBC. I can't explain it. I like it! Good enough for me.

Year in Movies

1) Star Trek. I went into this movie with an open mind and boy did it Blow my mind! Good job JJ.

2) Precious. Good grief hands down the most depressing movie I have seen in a long time. Just moving! Bring tissue.

3) The Proposal. Another surprise on how much I would like it. I hated the ending but a pleasant comedy.

Scared Much!

2009-12-29T16:02:00.000-08:00

I think in the past two days I have been asked "Are you nervous?" about a dozen times. The answer stayed the same for every time I was asked. "No I am not". How can I be not a lil nervous? I can't tell you I think I won't let myself be. I am afraid that if I let myself go there I might not come back. I am afraid that if I open up I might not get the response I need. I am afraid of what people would see. There is a rare moment when I let anyone into my emotional world. You see I have daddy issues and boy oh boy do they run deep and long. I am still getting through alot of the baggage he left. Imagine being a 12 y/o kid pleading for your daddy to see him. Crying your eyes out and he rejects you. I think that was the day I just stop feeling and expressing it a lil bit. It has reared it's head every now and then.

Today was one of those days. I was in my review and was talking about a upcoming interview. I felt overwhelm and started to tear up twice. I had to maintain myself. After months and months for composure it has started to hit me. I am freekin scared out of my mind and I need to have a breakdown soon. Cause it won't be pretty on the 7th. Dayum I am tired. Bloody tired. Geez I am rambling.

Merry Diva X-mas

2009-12-28T15:54:00.000-08:00

Well Christmas has come and gone. This was the first time this Christmas I didn't spend it with my family. I decided that to go back to Georgia and then turn around a two weeks later my family would be here. It was a lil too much. I prefer to have them here for my surgery.

I spent Christmas with my best friend and his boyfriend. We started the day off listening Christmas tunes and opening presents. So after a few glasses of wine(me), beer(them), and some other booze it turned into a diva Christmas. Out came the Madonna "Celebration" DVD, followed by Janet Jackson "The Virgin Years" DVD, followed by George Michael "25 Years" DVD, and last but not least Kylie Minogue "Live From NYC". Good times was had by all. We then finished the night off by heading to a bar for more fun and drinks.

Followed by a nasty hangover on Sunday. Now that's a gift I would like to re wrap.

Merry Christmas To Everyone

2009-12-25T09:33:00.000-08:00

Brittany Murphy , Oakenfold F - Faster Kill Pussycat HQ

2009-12-20T19:42:00.001-08:00

2009-12-16T06:18:00.000-08:00

So yesterday was a rather interesting day. I had my appointments with my doctors to discuss the surgery. Like all doctors appointments one of them ran about an hour and a half late. So all is still on track and I am anxious to get ready. I will write some more on the great work these doctors are doing this week.

I was approached about what could possibly be a job promotion. I was pleasantly surprised by the news but I am willing to see where this could go. I am calling next year "Rebirth 2010". I will elaborate more on that soon.

It's very rare that I meet one of my Internet crushes but I had a moment yesterday. The ever so dreamy Rob Pacicca was in my store. He has been photograph by the amazing Dylan Rosser(www.themaleform.net). Let me say that he is better looking in person. He had a nice beard going and few strands of grey hair. I was reduce to a lil school child. Couldn't even looking directly at him as I was afraid I would jump him right in the store. No worries kids I am a professional. Another time perhaps. Awwwww! Swoon!

Count It Off

2009-12-07T15:59:00.000-08:00

In the lovely words of Madame Madonna. Time goes by so slowly. So Slowly. So Slowly. I am thirty days away from my next adventure to the operating room. Let me tell you it feels like an lifetime since the date was set. I am ready now!

Lady Gaga Bad Romance Live on The Ellen DeGeneres Show

2009-12-02T15:53:00.001-08:00

Breaking Apart

2009-11-28T06:23:00.000-08:00

I finally did what I needed to do. After days of contemplating and lose of sleep. I end up breaking things off with the new guy. I thought that it would be hard but it wasn't. I think he knew it was coming. I feel bad but I am really not looking for anything heavy at least for the next few months. He was looking for something heavy duty. For now I am all about casual.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAY

2009-11-26T10:07:00.000-08:00

As usual today is just a reminder to give thanks for the joys in your life.

I am giving thanks for my family and friends who continue to be my shoulder to lean on.

I also give thanks for sheer fact that I can continue to work up and partake in the essence of life.

Listen To Your Heart

2009-11-26T06:08:00.000-08:00

I wish I were able to quiet those sound of my heart. Alas I cannot. I can fight with the voices in my head but I cannot ignore my heart. The new guy that I am seeing I am just not feeling him in a romantic way. The last time I felt like this in a relationship was with "J" and I end up breaking it off and in the midst of this making him feel like sh**. I just can't do this to another person it's not fair. Besides this guy has really bad insecurity issues. I should stayed the course I set out for myself months ago. No commitments until after all of my sh** has settled in January. I don't know what I was thinking when I got involve with him. He is so invented in this relationship I just didn't know how to walk away without the collateral damage. I have let him do things based on the fact that I didn't want to hurt him. There can be no clean break just break it off.

Make Me - Janet Jackson (Official Video- Full Length)

2009-11-24T05:16:00.001-08:00

I Am Coming Back

2009-11-23T13:37:00.000-08:00

Hi. I am still around just been mad crazy busy. Between work, moving into new place, getting things finished on the old place, and dealing with a new relationship. Hopefully I will get back to some normalcy soon.

I have been rethinking that I should be in a relationship with this current guy. Now that all the hype, butterflies, and lust has settle. I am just not feeling like we are clicking. I was able to get him to back off meeting his entire family for Thanksgiving. He has more feeling for me than I do for him. I really need to make a decision soon as to if I am going to try to stick it out. Hard choice.

Let's Give Thanks

2009-11-05T14:51:00.000-08:00

So I officially get to meet the bf's parents and family. The date is Thanksgiving and I am really freekin out about it. I think it is just too soon and he feels strongly that I need to meet them. My bff thinks I am a trippin and that I should be flattered and just go to the dinner. I am totally but this is a new territory I have not been in a very long time. So up until yesterday I was just undeceive about it. I am going to just jump in and hopefully I will not pee on myself from fear. Still trying to kick the s**t out of my demons. Give me strength.

Happy F**kin Halloween

2009-10-31T06:41:00.000-07:00

As everyone in the world knows today in the US of A it is Halloween. As I kid I was crazy insane about Halloween. The costume and candy. Trick or treat and that s**t. As I got older I just moved away from it all. I like watching other people in full Halloween drag. Like going to the Village Halloween Parade in the NYC. All my friends know how much I despise wearing a costume. A couple have tried in the past 5 years I have been here to get my in a costume. Only one person have been successful. So for the second time in 5 years I will put on a costume and I dreading it. I am like a cat get ready for a bath. Hissing and scratching bitches as they put me in the water. Grrr! Evil Looks "B".

Lose My Breath

2009-10-27T05:01:00.000-07:00

So I have been so busy for the last few weeks. I will be until the end of November. I am packing to move. Which I have been dragging my feet on doing. The shear thought of moving again is exhausting. However I am excited just need to get through the move.

Work is keeping me busy. Between training, store support, and meeting I will not get a breather for awhile.

I have also currently been seeing someone. So between dates and phone calls I have been focusing on the possible budding relationship. I am also combating my own personal demons with relationship and love. Trying to quiet them down before I sabotage it. I have done that to someone in the past who was a fantastic guy.

Taking a deep inhale.................................................................................................................................

Simply Red - Sunrise

2009-10-22T16:18:00.001-07:00

Black Eyed Peas - Meet Me Halfway - Official Music Video (HQ)

2009-10-22T16:08:00.001-07:00

Waiting To Exhale

2009-10-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

I did it. I took a big breath in and I exhaled.

Agnes - Release Me

2009-10-16T13:45:00.001-07:00

Greatest Hits

2009-10-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES – Janet Jackson is topping her latest greatest-hits collection with a new single.

The greatest-hits collection, called "Number Ones," includes 33 classic Jackson hits and her newest song, "Make Me." The two-disc album will be released Nov. 17.

"Number Ones" spans the pop star's career, from her 1986 debut, "Control," to last year's "Discipline." Jackson's last greatest hits album was released in 1995.

The 43-year-old singer is working on an autobiography and a new studio album set for release next year.

You Do What?

2009-10-08T04:29:00.000-07:00

Well knock me over with a feather. I just found out that my former roommate from San Francisco is doing porn and escorting. Thanks to a friend shooting me an e-mail. He is on Bang Bang Boys during a live show. He is a french man. I know that he was having sex with my other roommates before I moved in with them. They were a couple. I never thought much of him really sexually. He was a rather shady character with out rent and utilities money. However he has a nice package.

A few months ago I discovered another roommate was doing his own porn and unloading them to xtube. Now if only my roommate from Atlanta was doing a lil sumthin,sumthin. I would love to see that one.

Whatever carry on!

Nuevo Mi Casa

2009-10-07T14:09:00.000-07:00

Alright so the wind of change has begun! Next month I will be moving into my new place with my best friend. We found out today that we got the new place. I am so excited. I will now be able to some some doe-re-mi. Plus has a new pad.

Get on board and buckle up! The ride is in motion.

ˈchānj

2009-10-05T18:31:00.000-07:00

Webster's Definition of change is as follows

1 a : to make different in some particular : alter b : to make radically different : transform c : to give a different position, course, or direction to 2 a : to replace with another.

My change comes soon. There are some changes at work as far as some personnel shifting. That's happening next.

After what can be call is lackluster dating life. I have decided to revisit an old friend. We just have this connection that just will not go away. I have decided to walk this around again cause finally I think he is growing up. This makes me a very happy. I think with growth there has to be change. I am a bit reserved but I will give him the benefit of the doubt until otherwise proven guilty.

I will be moving soon. Trying to save some money. Moving in with my best friend. After two years of living alone I will be sharing a space with two other people. Hello change!

I Am Changing!

Regina - Baby love 1986

2009-10-03T21:53:00.001-07:00

Sick-e-poo

2009-09-24T18:49:00.000-07:00

I HATE BEING SICK!!!!!!!I HATE BEING SICK!!!!!!!
I HATE BEING SICK!!!!!!!I HATE BEING SICK!!!!!!!
I HATE BEING SICK!!!!!!!I HATE BEING SICK!!!!!!!

The Bitch Is Back

2009-09-23T04:36:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Actress Heather Locklear, who played a scheming advertising executive in 1990s drama "Melrose Place," is reprising the role in the new version of the show, the CW television network said on Tuesday

Locklear will star again as Amanda Woodward in an episode airing on Tuesday, November 17. The CW has declined to say how many episodes would feature the actress

I have had the chance to catch the first episodes of the show. Seems to show some signs of promise. There is a couple of storylines that needs to be either tighten up or tossed out completely. Hoping the addition of Heather will boost the ratings cause TV networks theses days will cancel your ass in a second. Next week Josie Bissett(Jane Mancini) returns to the show. From the previews she is back to her bitchy form. I love it!

AddThis - Sharing http://www.janetjackson.com/gift

2009-09-14T16:47:00.001-07:00

AddThis - Sharing http://www.janetjackson.com/gift

Shared via AddThis

PINK "Who Knew" Funhouse NEW DIAMOND IMAX QUALITY Sober Taylor Swift esqe Love Story

2009-09-14T14:33:00.001-07:00

What MTV Plays Videos?

2009-09-13T19:00:00.000-07:00

I was going to post about my weekend. However I have been reduced to commenting on this years VMA's. As I writing this post I have made it about 90 mins in. Let me recap what has happen so far. I am still loving the fact that MTV is giving out awards and they only play about 2 hours worth of videos on their channel. In the morning!

Madonna made a brilliant speak about Michael Jackson after first shaming the audience for clapping in the opening bow of her speech.

Tribute to Michael Jackson was f**king off the chain. The dancers definitely studied off and to cap off the salute was Miss Jackson. I thought I was going to loss my mind. She performed "Scream". Pissed my pants! Amazing

Taylor Swift wins for best female video. Kayne West interrupts her speech. He is such a douche!

Lady GaGa! sweet lady GaGa. wow! there are times I just don't get the craziness.

Russell Brand was not funny last year, and not this fun this year.

Pink's performance was the s**t! Just an amazing talent!

Two things I am tired of the song Single Ladies and wind machine. We get it Diana Ross umm oops Beyonce. Move on to Sweet Dreams please.

Boooooooooo! Kayne.

Lonely Is The Heart

2009-09-09T12:21:00.000-07:00

I was in the shower this afternoon when all of sudden I had a thought. AM I HAPPY? I have been in New Jersey for almost 5 years. That's about 2 years longer than I thought. Seriously! I was all set to leave about 2 and a half years ago. By a small miracle my boss made me an offer I couldn't refuse. I stayed and professionally it has been great. I would not have gotten anywhere else so quickly. I am also staying because of my medical condition. My doctors are here and it great being local. Hopefully next year all will be ok and I will not need to rely on them so much. Fingers crossed for my surgery in January.

However my personal life is just going absolutely nowhere. I would to say that I have not put myself out there but I have. Let me give a quick rundown. I have broken a heart, in turn got my heart broken, wasted my time on a few guys who can't commit to a damn thing, been pursued by guys that can't get a clue, guys with no cars, they ask for your number but they don't call, or they randomly call you out of the blue, and the list could go on and on. I have pretty much given up on dating any guy from NJ. I just can't do it anymore. Too exhausting.

I love being near NYC but it is such a small price to ask for when I am really not happy here anymore. So I will muster this up for another few months till maybe next summer. I think I will be leaving here. My friend is desperately trying to get me to go back to California. I have to say that I am thinking about it. Waiting to see what new doors if any will open up if any for me in 4 months.

Backstreet Boys - More Than That

2009-09-06T21:26:00.001-07:00

Where The F**k Is My Cake?

2009-09-05T13:15:00.000-07:00

Raise your glasses. I just turned the big 3-6. Thirty Six! Treinta y seis!
Happy Birthday To Me!

Number 36

2009-09-03T17:44:00.000-07:00

When Dreams Go Wrong

2009-09-01T09:07:00.000-07:00

Last night I has the weirdest dream. I dreamt that I was rushed into the emergency room. I am not quite sure for what though. I am in a hospital room and nurses are coming in and out. One nurse approached me and said we are ready to finish your gender reassignment surgery than stops and walks away. I am on the bed freekin out! screaming you got the wrong patient. Then another nurse comes along she is talking to another nurse. She states that I am blind in one of my eyes and that my surgery is postpone. She states that I should be at a hospital in Baltimore, Maryland. I then scream at her I can see. What kinda hospital am I in. WTF! Then I wake up cause I had to pee. The time was 4:17am.

Insomnia

2009-08-30T05:02:00.000-07:00

So for the past 10 years I have been sharing my bed with someone. Now that my sweet lil baby girl is gone my sleep pattern is a mess. I never realize how much I relied on her lil fat body next to my feet at night. I just used to climb in bed, turn the light and go to sleep. Now I get into bed and it is a struggle to sleep. I have now to have some kind of background noise(a la TV). I gotta find a better way to sleep cause Madison isn't coming back. I miss her:-(

Madonna - Celebration (Promo)

2009-08-26T20:26:00.001-07:00

I Will Be........

2009-08-26T18:22:00.000-07:00

So I took a little off from blogging. Just needed to let things settle in my life. My lil baby girl(cat) Madison past away. It was hard watching as she slipped away. I had to make the choice to put her asleep.

My social has been reduced to a big ole nothing. I am working on getting that back on track hopefully this weekend. I have been playing third wheel with my best friend and his man. I am growing tired on that also.

I have been schedule for my next surgery. That will take place on January 7, 2010. I put up a snazzy calendar on my blog. Countdown. I will give details soon. Including the doctor who is making a difference to so many people lives.

Livvi Franc - Now I'm That Bitch (Kaskade Mix Extended)

2009-08-10T16:29:00.001-07:00

Rest In Peace

2009-08-03T17:15:00.000-07:00

Sweet Dreams my sweet lil baby girl.

Back To It

2009-07-29T18:49:00.000-07:00

Yes I have made it back to my place. Just in time for more crappy Jersey. Why did I come back after my vacation? Mmmm beach, warm water, did I mention the beach. Calgon take me away.

Dos Dias/2 Days

2009-07-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

I already have vacation brain. I have already checked out at work.

7 Days to go.......

2009-07-16T04:33:00.000-07:00

In one week at this time I will be enjoying some time away from "Grand Ole Jersey". One week and La Florida here I come.

Janet Jackson-I get so lonely

2009-07-15T14:51:00.001-07:00

Doctor Doctor

2009-07-14T14:17:00.000-07:00

So the day I have been waiting for happen. I headed to the doctor today. We will be moving forward with the final stage to remove the rest of the tumor. I don't think I am as clueless going into this one. I know all the pros and cons that lie ahead. First up MRI and CT Scan. Then the big day will be scheduled. Almost There!

13 Days To Go

2009-07-10T06:22:00.000-07:00

Richgirl - He Ain't Wit Me Now (Tho)

2009-07-08T05:36:00.001-07:00

So Independent

2009-07-06T04:20:00.000-07:00

Happy Belated 4th of July. So the holiday weekend is over. What a glorious weekend it was. The weather was amazing here. I got a chance to watch the fireworks on the boardwalk in Asbury Park overlooking the ocean. Awww! takes my breath away! Snap a few shots from my iphone.

One of my favorite photographer is Dylan Rosser http://www.themaleform.net/ This weekend I was down in Asbury Park and ran into one of his models. The dreamy and yummy Rob. My former wallpaper on my laptop. I knew he lived in Jersey so seeing was like finding a unicorn. Who the hell would have thought it would happen. I think I drove my friends crazy telling them you got to see his pics. They are not tacky but tastefully done pics. Check them out below. Plus check out Dylan Rosser site really great stuff. One day when I have the balls I would love to model for him.

David Guetta ft. Kelly Rowland - When Love takes over (HQ) (Offizielles Video)

2009-06-29T16:16:00.001-07:00

R.I.P.

2009-06-26T03:45:00.000-07:00

Now may you find the peace you so much deserve. Gone but never ever forgotten.

Run Forrest Run!

2009-06-24T16:56:00.000-07:00

Hey L! You walk like a duck. Quack like a duck. Then papi you are a duck and I can't mess with you. You remind me of my ex. I got to run fast and far away from you. Adios!

You Played Yourself

2009-06-24T16:09:00.000-07:00

There is nothing better than taking control back. See somehow you unwillingly given it away to someone.

I have spoken several time about J.J. on here. I will not got into our long sorted history. The one good luxury to keep him around is that he works for a clothing store. He gets these sweet ass clothing freebies. He always gives them to me and I take me. Free hell yes! However the downside is that he always wants to see me in them. To various degrees of undress.

He texted me a few days ago he has some new stuff. If I wanted them I could come and get them. He wanted to come over Monday night. I declined his offer to come over since it was like 10pm when I got the text. I knew actually what he was doing. I kept our conversation on a friendly bases. I only want a friendship with him and nothing else ever. Which he is making that even hard to do now. I even asked him about this new guy in his life cause I don't want it to be about me. Take the focus off me.

Today I went over to his place early cause I knew what I would be in for. I wanted to control the situation from the moment I stepped foot in his apartment. All seemed OK. I keep it pleasant and told him that I could not stay long. We chatted about what we were up to and our plans for Pride this weekend. There was whole other conversation cause he brought Paulina Rubio new CD. I think she is horrific singer. He laughed and asked why would I even listen to spanish music since I don't speak. I couldn't understand what they were saying. I took a moment and said "yes while I am half spanish I don't speak it fluently I can understand alot more than you think." He said oh. I then continued "Yes it take me two listen to understand the songs but music is music. If it is good it can transcend languages, nationalities, and countries." I listen to alot of different types of music." And yes Paulina Rubio still sucks.

He then showed my the clothes. He turned to me and asked if I was trying them on I said "No". He asked me twice. We are friends and I am not going there with him. I said "If you want you can take the clothes to you new beau and he can model them for you." He said "No. He doesn't wear those type of clothes." I went to put the clothes in a bag and turned around.....Wait for it.....

He was on his bed, pulled his pants down and was j/o. I would like to say I was shocked by this ok I was a lil. He did mention it in his text to me on Monday but I assume he was kidding. I told him that I was leaving and he needed to pull his pants up. He just kept going and I was making my way to the door. He then got up off the bed and then ask me to stay. I grabbed my phone and said "I am going to take pic of you and post it." He laughed but kept going and motioning me to join him. I said J.J. I need for you to let me out. He grabbed my arm and said"Just stay and watch me cum". Which took all of 2 mins. I am not kidding. I asked "was he happy now." He stated "Yes and No". I laughed and he finally opened the door.

I think it's about as low as anyone can go. It felt like a desperate and he thought I was going down that road with me. Sorry pal I am over you and your uncut penis. Yes, penis control has been restored to me in this adventure. TeeHee!

Beyonce Broken Hearted Girl Official Video 2009 lyrics

2009-06-22T18:19:00.001-07:00

"Fort La De Da"

2009-06-21T05:13:00.000-07:00

Will it official I will doing a little vacationing in the land of La Florida. I will be there near the end of July. I am super excited cause I am in need of a much of a vacay. Here hoping for warm,and sunny weather, hot men, and fun times.

COLTON FORD "Losing My Religion"

2009-06-17T16:20:00.001-07:00

Quick Fix

2009-06-17T04:28:00.000-07:00

So my stupid mistake has been fixed. It didn't cost me as much as I thought. Thank goodness!

Now planning my vacay trip with friends. I think we will head to "La Florida" just to take in the whole sun and beach scene. Hoping to get everything squared away by Friday at the latest. I can't wait.

Stupidity

2009-06-11T16:09:00.000-07:00

I just did something so stupid today and now it is going to cost me. Stoopid! Stoopid! Aye estupido!

So Tired

2009-06-06T04:54:00.000-07:00

Ok so it's Saturday Morning and I getting ready for another day of work. I am working the entire weekend and I am a bit bummed. I am also tired and getting crabby. I pretty much was a biyotch all day yesterday at work. No fun for me this weekend. Man! I am so freekin tired.

J Holiday - Suffocate (Official Music Video)

2009-06-05T14:15:00.005-07:00

PUSSYCAT DOLLS Hush Hush Hush Hush AMAZING QUALITY Nicole Scherzinger Jai Ho Doll Domination

2009-06-05T14:13:00.001-07:00

Date Me

2009-06-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

I have made a serious mission to get back into dating. I have been kinda holding back on dating for my own lame reasoning. So I have full extended myself into the dating pool. I have gone out on two dates with one guy(silver fox). I am looking to do date numero tres. I have three offers from other guys to go out this week. Here is my dilemma two have asked to go out on the same day. I have a way to maybe bump one a day later. I am also working 6 days this week. Talking about spreading myself thin.

Mya - Case of the Ex

2009-05-29T14:41:00.001-07:00

Holiday! Celebrate!

2009-05-26T15:54:00.000-07:00

Happy Belated Memorial to you all. I have been extremely busy since Thursday of last week. A friend came into town from Fla. I was not expecting to hang out with him till Saturday. However the friend that he was supposed to stay with got stuck in Puerto Rico. So I had to leave work and head into the city to pick him up. He is a cute lil silver fox. We have not seen each other in more than 2 years so of course we had so extra sexual energy to burn. Tee Hee Hee!

Took him to the Brownstone in Jersey City. Great diner we both love. Headed to the city on Sunday. Did brunch at Vinyl, walked around, and did some shopping. We then went to the movies and checked out "Angels and Demons". A good movie not as heavy as "The Davinci Code" but very thrilling.

Memorial Day comes along dropped him at the airport and then headed to Asbury Park. My plan was to completely be a lazy man but alas I gave into peer pressure. The weather was wonderful.

Tired and stressed out went to yoga class tonight. All is calm in the world right now. I have a date on Thursday night with another silver fox. Should be interesting.

Is It Me? or The Jeans

2009-05-18T13:07:00.000-07:00

Yet another weekend has come and gone. What an interesting weekend it was. Saturday was a trip to Paradise. Yippeee! Umm anyway it was dog tag night. I had my choose between Red=Taken, Yellow=Open Relationship, and Green=Single. I of course am green. The night was good. I maintain my alcoholic consumption. Tee Hee Hee. So I am standing at the bar and a guy smiles at me. He was offered my some stall chips that the bar was serving. I decline the chips. The guy was cute but a tad goofy. I couldn't tell if it was the drinks or if he was just plain goofy. He was a pretty solid in weight. Blond hair, and nice size arms. I admit for a moment I had impure thoughts. We danced and had a good time.

Saturday we headed to Manhattan. Had some great Thai food at Nooch on 8th Ave. Anyway I wore a pair of my favorite brand of jeans. Lucky! I am telling something magically happen when I put them on. I have four different pair of Lucky Jeans. While walking to The Eagle we walked past a drunken girl vomiting on the street. Then we happen upon a drunken guy. We literally fell on the sidewalk in front of us. He got up and I noticed that his pants were falling down. I asked him if he was ok. I can't imagine being alone and drunk walking the streets of NYC. Not so safe. So the rest of the night was porn and beer. I had two beers. The reality is that I have not drank a beer in a year. Since the beers were less money I drank. Before we left I had to use the bathroom. Upon walking into the bathroom I stumbled upon three guys jerking off. I immediate left the bathroom and headed to the other. Well that was happening in the stall of that bathroom. I went in and I head to pee. I just wanted no one touching me. The prude in me came out and I just wanted to leave. So we left. We walked past a video store and in the window there was a ad for boy butter lube. We got a good laugh out of it. Hit the local Starbucks, chatted about taking a group trip. Walking out there was a group of guys doing the same thing. As I passed him in the window I saw him checking me out. I smiled and kept walking. Dayum! I can't wait till summer. I really love these jeans.

So Gone?

2009-05-15T15:34:00.000-07:00

OMFG! This was the best season finale I have seen so far. Just the scene when Meredith figures out that patient in the hospital room was George. My mouth dropped completely. I am cannot wait till Fall to see Katherine and T.R. got the ax. Great Job Shonda Rimes!